This is the space where I will try and give you some insight into my personal and professional life and what is deeply important to me. Seem voyeuristic….well it is and that is what makes blogging fabulous in a way. I hope I inspire you to be kickasse in your own life in some way. .
To get a fabulous complimentary course on HOW TO CHANGE ONE THING then visit my website on www.life-coaching.co.za
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The dance of life – to push forward or hold back?
This question and dilemma periodically pops up in my space in its various guises as I navigate the dance of life. With both personal and professional challenges – sometimes it seems a life and death choice. read the full post here on my new website
http://www.kate-emmerson.com/blog.html
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Mmmmmmm – soul bearing time from a place of vulnerability – if you know one thing about me by now it is that I completely value and treasure honesty, courage, commitment and stepping up in all facets of life, and I expect clients to do the same. So for the past 24 hours I have been pondering a personal question from my experience at an event yesterday.
I was the last guest speaker at a special women’s day cancer fundraiser event – with a huge line up celebs and powerful women fighting this disease and this event had me in nerves like no other – I have always had to deal with nerves when speaking and I think that is universal form my conversations with other speakers, but it is also outweighed by the intense excitement at stepping up on stage. This week felt a bit different and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
I have delivered 5 keynote talks to wonderful audiences with honest applause and positive feedback over women’s month – and the truth is that when something goes well and is delivered right on the mark it lifts my spirits as much as the audience, there is a deep sense of gratitude, appreciation and love for my work, but in truth there may not be that much learning or growth for me personally. There is a sense of being able to hold my crazy colored head of hair high and feel a personal sense of pride at having delivered what I’m professional at but yesterdays one – I am in a quandary in my heart and soul about whether I was controversial, off topic, totally inappropriate, plain bad and having an off day- or if all this in my head and I’m simply being hard on myself.
The thing is this – I aim to be challenging and inspiring at the same time, I aim to be kickass and controversial in a good way – inappropriate isn’t a word I tend to use in my vocab- I am normally confident enough to carry off most tings- so what if a screwed up?
I also teach that it is vital to put on your big girl panties and deal with crap when it comes your way – so – I’ll find out from the client their reaction- and take it from there…..
I am an expert and teacher in LETTING go – so I need to remember what is done is done, if there are steps to be taken to make it right, i will always step up and be responsible
I also teach that when things are challenging there is a lesson- I believe my lesson might be to listen to my intuition- since Friday I had an idea to do something different to what I had put forward – yet did not follow that and I always trust my intuition but in this case…….I obviously need to be going through these personal question right now – its making me challenge myself
Gifts – so the gift is I can learn and grow and become a better speaker – my honesty is a quality I love about myself – and I love that i have shared my vulnerability about this
I love speaking, and I love appreciating beautiful audiences – so I trust I will move on from this and simply get better at my craft as the Quick Shift Deva
Blessings
Kate
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| Clients have been mailing to ask where oh where I am and I love the persistence and nagging to tell me to write, so that is the title of todays letter. I have been reading Napolean Hill’s “Think and grow rich” and there is a lovely entry about whether we exhibit STICKABILITY of QUITABILITY? Interesting question
It got me re-thinking about my own goals and ideas and dreams for 2011 this year, and am I chasing after them or letting them slip silently away at any level? I admit I got a bit scattered and too busy and landed up working a lot IN my business doing the necessary work with clients as opposed to ON my business and have been very tied up completing an awesome three month SPAR makeover with 8 special ladies, plus more clutter jobs in 5 months than the last 2 years put together. So I have just been evaluating whether I have let some of my personal and business goals slip a bit, and realise that whilst I may have just slowed up on the big picture because I got too busy on the smaller picture, that I am back with a vengeance and I am NOT letting go of what I want. I am not prepared to quit on what is important to me? Are you a QUITTER or a STICKER Kate ? Do you even know what IS important to you right now, what your purpose is, what brings you joy and why and have you aligned your goals with your vision and values in life? Or are you all too easily a quitter and when the first curve ball hits you run away? Here is my version of the two opposites… QUITTER STICKER Is there something you need to STICK to?? Drop me a line I always love hearing from you |
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Two monks left their monastery to pilgrim for a couple of years. They were not allowed to speak to anyone or touch anyone all the time they were travelling. They got to a river where a woman was trying to cross but couldn’t or was to scared to.
The one monk wouldn’t help but the other one carried her across and set her down safely on the other side. The monks continue their journey and arrived back at the monastery two years later.
When they had settled back, the monk who wouldn’t carry the woman said to the other “how come did you break our rules and carry that woman … you know we were not supposed to talk to or touch anyone?”.
The other monk looked at him gently and said “for two years you have carried this load with you, but you see I put her down and moved on!!” Sums it up too doesn’t it!!
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I have been reading Napolean Hill’s “Think and grow rich” and there is a lovely entry about whether we exhibit STICKABILITY of QUITABILITY? Interesting question
It got me re-thinking about my own goals and ideas and dreams for 2011 this year, and am I chasing after them or letting them slip silently away at any level? I admit I got a bit scattered and too busy and landed up working a lot IN my business doing the necessary work with clients as opposed to ON my business and have been very tied up completing an awesome three month SPAR makeover with 8 special ladies, plus more clutter jobs in 5 months than the last 2 years put together. So I have just been evaluating whether I have let some of my personal and business goals slip a bit, and realise that whilst I may have just slowed up on the big picture because I got too busy on the smaller picture, that I am back with a vengeance and I am NOT letting go of what I want. I am not prepared to quit on what is important to me?
Are you a QUITTER or a STICKER Kate ?
Do you even know what IS important to you right now, what your purpose is, what brings you joy and why and have you aligned your goals with your vision and values in life? Or are you all too easily a quitter and when the first curve ball hits you run away?
Here is my version of the two opposites…
QUITTER
Listens to other people above self
Waivers in decision both speed and content
Does not trust self
Does not inherently believe in own goals
Has not overcome baggage or self limiting beliefs
Is letting fear rule their life
Believes there is a tomorrow – you could die today!
Runs at first sign of trouble
Lets life get in the way
Procrastinates
Blames others for stuff not working out
STICKER
Takes time to work on the important things
Doesn’t get puled off track by others
Manages time and energy
Leverages and works smarter
Keeps on keeping on no matter what
Believes 150% in own goals
Can honestly introspect
Can admit falterings and get back on track
Asks for support when needed
Has a bold vision and takes time out every day to focus
Visualises outcomes and knows the power of thoughts
Is there something you need to STICK to??
Drop me a line I always love hearing from you
sign up for my free course how to change one thing on www.life-coaching.co.za
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love the different perspective she has
Behind every great man…
One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious.
When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.
Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?”
She replied that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.
President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant?”
To which Michelle responded, “No Dear, if I had married him, he would now be President!”
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GOD IS LIKE THE WIND by Don Glassey
We cannot see the wind, but we can see the activity it creates;
Moving through the trees, rustling the leaves, blowing over grasses.
Likewise with God, for though God is invisible and unseen we can perceive the effect of God’s creative force in our lives.
In the miracle of birth, in a mother’s unconditional love, in the joyous laughter of a child.
Even when there seems to be no wind, if we are very still we can feel the wind’s presence
Similarly with God, for in those moments when we doubt god’s existence, if we are very quiet and calm we will feel God’s omnipresence.
When the wind blows very hard, if we are moving very fast, we may not be aware of its strength.
Likewise with God, if we are very restless and busy we may not sense God’s presence even though it is omnipotent.
If we disregard the re-balancing force of a strong wind, it may blow more powerfully in the form of a hurricane or tornado to fulfill its purpose.
Like wise with God, if we ignore God’s omniscience in re-balancing our lives, God’s will may be more forceful to bring us back to purpose
It is always our option to heed the forces of nature and hear the message in a gentle wind, or we can wait for a gale wind to get our attention. Similarly with God, we can listen to God’s whisper, or we can wait for God’s shout.
It is always our choice
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Falling apart or falling together
At some point in our lives we all use that expression when everything seems to be going haywire, losing its grip and shattering before our eyes. What we forget is that it is always for our highest good. We don’t want to hear that when we are kicking and screaming against the changes, the flow that appears against us, the struggle and the fear of NO MORE. We are the ones that make the change harder and harder.
I came across this beautiful expression this week about rather seeing it as the bigger picture falling together. It reminds me of one of my favourite poems of all times called GOD IS LIKE THE WIND
If we play small, hold tight and forget to go with the flow, life will feel like it is falling apart. If for one moment in time we can remember the bigger picture that we are never meant to know in totality, it can make it seems as though our soul is truthfully assisting us to fall TOGETHER again.
Our journey here on earth is one of wholeness and healing and back into the full joyful expression of who we really are
So next time you feel like your falling apart, remember your soul might be helping you to fall together
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Why do we set new years resolutions every year , year in year out even when they know they do not work? Stupid, hopeful, forgetful …all of the above perhaps!
Whilst the intention of resolutions is good in that people want to expand their sense of self and grow into something bigger than their current reality, in essence NYR (new year resolutions) set you up for failure because of the way people go about setting them. Resolutions inherently cause you to fail.
We are created to always become better- that is part of our journey into self – we always want more – more meaning, purpose, experiences, achievements etc. What a wonderful joyous aspect of living your life. If we do not change and make personal progress, by default we actually stagnate first, then eventually we will go backwards. Yet we all know that we yearn to expand and stretch into more- we often just do not know how to, or do not believe we deserve to. So if self loathing is the catalyst to want to be better, that is a great starting point- however in order to be better and make changes you need to shift your awareness into self acceptance, away from self loathing. Moving AWAY from something can only take you so far – at some point you also need to shift your perception towards where you are headed in the future. The old saying of “ you can’t drive a car by only looking in your review mirror” comes to mind
Why do NYR not work?
Mostly people set NYR out of a sense of obligation and guilt and then most importantly word them all incorrectly. They are usually about correcting bad behaviours, so everything about them feels negative. Also people have the subconscious thought that they don’t work, (so even whilst they are setting them they secretly know by mid january it’s all over) yet every year do the same thing over and over again. So they know they want to change, but do not change how they go about it. What I do love about resolutions is that it shows people do want to change and have the energy of Hope – all you need to learn is how to do it better using a different recipe or formula. You can change anything you truly want if you
a. know exactly what you want
b. know why you want it and
c. and what it takes to get it.
NYR are usually half hearted wishes and big thinking nebulous ideas. The other biggest reason they do not work is that they are usually about beating oneself up and are worded in the negative. You have to remember one key about manifesting and achieving goals is that they need to be clearly stated and focused in the positive.
The 3 top resolutions are
Whilst these are all noble and well intended, they are set up for failure because they still focus on the negative. If you take being debt free, the resolution is still focused on the debt – as opposed to earning, saving, financial freedom. There is a real art to goal setting that one learnt will transform you way you see the world and understand how you have been tripping yourself up.
Today is the best time to make changes – not waiting for some time in the future or the magical day of the 1/1/11- that resembles procrastination and excuses. Today is the day- it starts with your mindset. For eg Two of my commitment goals for 2010 were to be able to fit into my size 33 linen pants, as well as to gift myself a 3 day silent retreat. Two weeks before the end of the year I realised that I actually still had the time to achieve both before the close of year if I was really and truly commited in the way I expect myself / clients to be. I did not want to let myself off the hook. So I decided to lay low over the festive season – on day 7 of a massive metabolism kickstart diet I was wearing those pants J, plus I did my retreat in the comfort of my own home from the 26-28 Dec. Most people thought I was mad for doing it at that crazy time of the year when everyone else is busy eating and drinking up a storm. But in fact my steely determination is made all the easier as I know I am 50 steps ahead of the rest who will start thinking about their health in the new year.
I started no matter what time of the year it was because I had set a goal to achieve some specific things by a specific time frame. There was no way I was closing out 2010 with them unfinished. I am committed to what I say I am as far as is humanly possible. The feeling of self discipline and personal integrity was worth far more to me as a coach living my truth, than partying up a storm simply because everyone else was doing so. Today and now is the time that matters. Do not put off till tomorrow that which can be done today
So you need to set clear, specific and awesome goals for yourself as opposed to nebulous half hearted ideas. Be bold, be committed and be willing to be surprised when you start thinking bigger and better, more meaningful and with purpose. Life is about challenges, as well as living in the now. Having big goals and a clear plan is the starting point. Then it helps to have people to be accountable to that will assist you to push through no matter what. The title of Susan Jeffers book “feel the fear and do it anyway” springs to mind. In my coaching I have many techniques and tools that are simple to use as my main frame of reference is to assist people to let go of all that no longer serves them. The first real step is the willingness to observe the self and be ready to take the action required in order to move forward. If your goal is big enough it can also assist you to WANT to over come the obstacles. Plus we need to remember that WE are always the biggest single obstacles to our future- yet we love to make it about everyone else, our past and our circumstances.
So in essence, the trick to overcoming emotional obstacles, is the willingness to be 100% brutally honest! Tough one
The hardest part about change is leaving the comfort of what you know, have and believe to be solid.
Robert Allen – “everything you want is just outside your comfort zone’
The first step is usually the hardest in my experience. When people call or mail me to ask for help because they are stuck – that is usually the biggest hurdle overcome.
Kate is hosting her one public goal setting in jhb on the 29th Jan. Other areas by request if you gather 10 people together. She also runs her highly popular and effective online/ email course titled IGNITE YOUR LIFE where you set your personal goals for 5 weeks that can be done from anywhere in the world.
SING up FOR MY free e-course on HOW TO CHANGE ONE THING www.life-coaching.co.za
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