Mmmmmmm – soul bearing time from a place of vulnerability – if you know one thing about me by now it is that I completely value and treasure honesty, courage, commitment and stepping up in all facets of life, and I expect clients to do the same. So for the past 24 hours I have been pondering a personal question from my experience at an event yesterday.
I was the last guest speaker at a special women’s day cancer fundraiser event – with a huge line up celebs and powerful women fighting this disease and this event had me in nerves like no other – I have always had to deal with nerves when speaking and I think that is universal form my conversations with other speakers, but it is also outweighed by the intense excitement at stepping up on stage. This week felt a bit different and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
I have delivered 5 keynote talks to wonderful audiences with honest applause and positive feedback over women’s month – and the truth is that when something goes well and is delivered right on the mark it lifts my spirits as much as the audience, there is a deep sense of gratitude, appreciation and love for my work, but in truth there may not be that much learning or growth for me personally. There is a sense of being able to hold my crazy colored head of hair high and feel a personal sense of pride at having delivered what I’m professional at but yesterdays one – I am in a quandary in my heart and soul about whether I was controversial, off topic, totally inappropriate, plain bad and having an off day- or if all this in my head and I’m simply being hard on myself.
The thing is this – I aim to be challenging and inspiring at the same time, I aim to be kickass and controversial in a good way – inappropriate isn’t a word I tend to use in my vocab- I am normally confident enough to carry off most tings- so what if a screwed up?
I also teach that it is vital to put on your big girl panties and deal with crap when it comes your way – so – I’ll find out from the client their reaction- and take it from there…..
I am an expert and teacher in LETTING go – so I need to remember what is done is done, if there are steps to be taken to make it right, i will always step up and be responsible
I also teach that when things are challenging there is a lesson- I believe my lesson might be to listen to my intuition- since Friday I had an idea to do something different to what I had put forward – yet did not follow that and I always trust my intuition but in this case…….I obviously need to be going through these personal question right now – its making me challenge myself
Gifts – so the gift is I can learn and grow and become a better speaker – my honesty is a quality I love about myself – and I love that i have shared my vulnerability about this
I love speaking, and I love appreciating beautiful audiences – so I trust I will move on from this and simply get better at my craft as the Quick Shift Deva
Blessings
Kate
